Once again, lyrics are giving light, shining into the dark places. So here we go:
The emotion it was electric
And the stars, they all aligned
I knew I had to make my decision
But I never made the time
No, I never made the time
In the dark, for a while now
I can't stay, so far
I can't stay much longer
Riding my decision home
-“I Can’t Stay” by the Killers
And you're back out on the street.
And you're tryin' to remember.
How will you start it over?
You don't know what became.
You don't care much for a stranger's touch,
But you can't hold your man.
You never thought you'd be alone this far down the line
And I know what's been on your mind
You're afraid it's all been wasted time
Oh, another love has come and gone
Oh, and the years keep rushing on
I remember what you told me before you went out on your own:
"Sometimes to keep it together, we got to leave it alone."
So you can get on with your search, baby, and I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find, that it wasn't really wasted time
-“Wasted Time” by the Eagles
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
-“I’m Moving On” by Rascal Flatts
I lost a piece of me in you
I think I left it in your arms
I forget the reasons I got scared
But remember that I cared quite a lot
You see but lately I've been on my own
Yeah one, but one by choice
You see, that's a first for me
There's only me, yeah there’s only me
And now I realize for once
It's just me
It's just me
It's just me
And I'll find a way to make it
There's no one left to stop me
Here I go
Can we take it from the top?
-“It’s Just Me” by Blue October
Though I know I'll never ever lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think of them
But in my life I loved you more
I love you more
I love you more
-“In My Life” by the Beatles
In the peace of my shambled apartment, I find that I am making the right decision. The boxes around me, the memories, the finality of it all is crippling and fear-inducing. The new day is here, and I am blind to what it has for me. But it is a new day, and new days care not for should’s, could’s, would’s, what if’s. Days before new days are for crying, for allowing myself to bask in the memories and remember why in those new days, I chose to make those memories. And I did choose them; I chose to embrace those days and to move forward into Life. I choose now this new path, and I am grateful for the choice. Choice is such a blessing in the time of my life when new days have been forced upon me; but this one is mine, this choice is all mine. I can’t live between the old new days and the new days ahead; they wouldn’t be new if I clung to the old. Now it is time for another new day, no greater or more magical than the old ones, still offering the same canvas opportunities, a new canvas the same as last time. I bought this canvas, I made this purchase for a new day. No receipt, no exchange, no hesitation, no dried paint, just a brush in the hand of a girl who made a choice. This is my new day.
